View from the other side

Summary

The audio we listened to discussed the difficulties trans men face when having to relearn how to date and fall in love. As women, they were socialized a certain way when it came to approaching people they were interested in. However, after transitioning, they had to rediscover how to approach people they were interested in. Many of them found it difficult to find someone they wanted to go out with and the group of people who would be interested in them. They also had to worry about finally coming out to the person they’re interested and whether or not they would be disgusted or upset.

Example

While listening to this podcast, I was reminded of when I came out in high school. I was very careful about who knew because I didn’t want it to affect other people’s opinions of me. However, I also looked at dating differently, because I was raised in a hetero-centralized society so I had to learn on my own how to date a girl, as a girl. I was very cautious of how it would affect my standing in the different clubs I was in while also feeling confused due to the lack of visibility of people I could look up to.

Connection

I had a very different experience than the men in the podcast, firstly because I am not trans, and secondly because they weren’t even really sure which demographic would be most likely to date them whereas it was pretty straight forward for me. However, there were similarities in that when we both came out there was a kind of confusion in how to go about dating. We had both been socialized to pursue the people we were supposed to like in a specific way, but after coming out we had to relearn how to show interest. There was also a part where he talks about how they were all friends, but were probably only friends because they were all trans. In high school, many of my friends were also gay and the main reason we got to know each other is because of that. We weren’t involved in the same activities, but once we identified each other then we naturally gravitated toward one another.